I really mean it this time!

I've begun again.
Another new start on my quest for a better weight for me, no joint aches, daily exercise.
No No, don't start laughing... I really mean it this time... O.k., that makes me chuckle.
But I do, I mean it.
Plant based diet. No poison in my body (booze=joint pain)...
Exercise.
I discovered Qigong. I like it a lot. It's so gentle and do-able.
And I feel really good afterwards.
My friend MerryBeth mentioned that her homeopath said it takes 100andsomething days for junk to get out of the body. (they didn't say "junk" - my term)
I said, "That's around 4 months!" Maybe my quicky cleanses and all that just don't cut it. Think I could stick with something for that long? I mean, I go to work every day. Could I eat right and exercise every day?
It's my favorite time of year and it's been just about a year since I started this blog.
Time for fruition.
I really mean it this time.

My sciatica, yoga and new high weight...

Well, sure, it goes on and on and on...
147 is my new high weight, which I guess means I'm making some progress. It was 148 again the last couple days but I ate a giant salad yesterday, had a good - oh wait, let's amend that weight to 145 -  dropped that nasty pound and then another 2 pounds.
(not to mention the 1/2 bottle of wine I drank last night because I sold a painting and celebrated, so that didn't help did it?)
My sciatica has been giving me horrible grief so I forced myself to do Yoga #1 video of standing poses. It hurt. Bad. I followed the guy who shows the alternative poses. I got through all but the last stretch.
did it again the next day and got through the whole tape.
Hip feels better, not all they way o.k., but getting there. Shoulder not so hot. just stretches today, no arm work.
Just heard a report on NPR about women over 50 having a hard time keeping weight off. Well, that just cracked me up.
The report said that it's not just cutting back on meats, cheeses, sugars, but also adding more fruits and veges. AND EXERCISE. huh. really?
This woman took up rowing in her late 50s. That's me. late 50s. struggling to keep the weight off. struggling to stay in shape.
The pain of sedentarism is what gets me. I tried to pull some fence posts out of the ground so as to put the snow fence in better position and it was agaonizing. I got nowhere. My muscle tone just withers if I let it. I am not old!!! I am still vibrant (in my head).
SIGH.
Walk, run, hike, lift. Eat salad.
Here comes winter.
I'd better be ready!

habits habits

At least I'm now wavering between 144-146 instead of 148-150.
Not that my pants fit better  yet.
And as far as the plant based diet goes - it goes off and on.
I made the best pork green chili last night for my poor underfed husband.
Pork is about the lowest on my list of meat I ever eat, but, yum!
Now I'll have to make some vegetarian green chili for me.
I started a new job this week and running in the morning went by the wayside today.
Not so light in the morning currently.
I'm home though in the afternoons during the school week, so I should be able to walk up to the mailbox in the afternoons.
I truly am hanging in there and in 2 months it will have been a year since I started this blog.
Through trying really hard and not trying at all, I've lost about 3 pounds.
Unless you count how many times I've lost (and gained) 3 pounds. In that case, wow, I've lost about 20 pounds. Hahahahahahaha. and ha.

Back at it

Well well, here I am, still chasing the old poundage.

I watched the documentary "Forks Over Knives" and declared myself on a plant based diet which I stuck to rather faithfully for about a week before traveling to visit family and eating mostly all the wrong stuff and exercising none.

Now I am back and almost recovered from my visits, not quite back into the exercise routine but, gee whiz, down to 145 today.

I'm kinda thinking it's stress over a number of different things but I'm also thinking it's my body easing back into lots of veges and out of meat, grease, and sugar.

I am excited to see if this total change in eating is it. It's not a huge change but obviously what I was doing before wasn't cutting it.

So, alive and well and plugging away.

hmmm on the yoga

      Walking, working in the yard, wonderful weather.
But, let me tell you, the 21 Day Yoga challenge is a toughy.
I've had some nasty lower back and sciatic (sp?) issues and I think it's from trying to do this yoga..
You get a different video every day and even though I'm at beginner level, it's hard and not real slow.. I mean somewhat, but to follow along, I think I've twisted and hurt something.. so
I'm kinda on the Every other Day Yoga Challenge.
I took a bunch of advil last night and some this morning, lay (lie layed laid) on the floor, did stretches, walked up to the mailbox (1 mile) and feel pretty good.
fine fine I'll be fine.
oh, and, hey, I'll lose this fucking fatso weight too.
plus I came up with another incentive (which also involves winning lotto for money) but if I lose this weight, I want to get my hair done/colored really cool. oh, self esteem, you are under all that flab!
love and peace
and
carry on.

I hate this

I look in the mirror and I see the weight on my face.
I'm wearing a tank top and when I turn my arm it looks like the twisted trunk of a Bristlecone Pine tree.
I am stagnant at 150 pounds.
Ugh.

Yes to yoga

Nice, really nice but sheesh, not so easy.
Had I not done yoga before, I'd be having a really hard time with this so called beginner series.
Today's was a 20 min. workout. Day 3. I'm on track now.
...and I already walked up to the mailbox with the dog.
I also wanted to say that yesterday I think was the first time since I started this blog that I felt totally guilted into doing the yoga challenge just because I said so here.
the tweaky twingy shoulder seems to be better with yoga.
My back wants to sit up really straight right now. I'm sure I'll regress and revert later in the day to my usual slouch.. but for now..
Let's see how it feels to hang out laundry (before it gets too windy).
ah, well, back to 149. what a trend. maybe I can stick with it.
This time.

I jogged, I hiked, I played with kids

....but I didn't do yoga.
The 21 Day Yoga Challenge has been sending me emails for days 2-5.
You know I did Day 1.
Then it was the weekend.
So, today I did Day 2. It was WONDERFUL. It was only 11 minutes long. But challenging! Balance. Twisting. Thinking good thoughts.
So maybe this afternoon I'll do Day 3. (yeah right)
We went on a 3 mile hike yesterday. I found 1 chewed up set of antlers.
I played "spike the beach ball" with my 6 year old granddaughter yesterday.
I worked.
I did 2 wheelbarrows of what I am now calling "The dirt relocation program." My husband has been giving me lots of positive strokes about how great it is that I'm filling in the ruts at the low spot in the driveway. Psychology in action.
So if I don't meet my challenge of dropping 16 pounds by July 22, do I still get new clothes? The challenge is to fit into all the cute ones I have now. Seems kind of counter productive to not get new clothes for meeting my goal. Seems like if I just stay fat, I can go shopping and get clothes that are cute and disguise my flab. (eeewwww, that's motivation enough right there!)
New goal: New outfits for weightloss.
(win lotto, get money for aforementioned prize)
Lose weight. Get money. Isn't that a TV show?
Okay, let's just get back to the routine. Eat right. Exercise.

More Yoga

I joined a "21 Day Yoga Challenge" through Yoga Journal Magazine.
Everyday they send me a new yoga workout. How can I ignore my email?
It was a very gentle 20 minute routine. I liked it.
My right arm/shoulder has been horrible and everytime I raised and lowered my arms that shoulder popped and crackled. I hope it was helping.
Meanwhile I haven't lost any weight. 149. well, o.k., gained and lost the same pound from the 150 mark.

Exercise to lose weight

This is the message I am trying to send to myself.
Since I started "Total Motivation" at "6weeks2buff", I've lost no weight. It's been a week since I started keeping a food diary.
According to the calorie calculator, I could have 1,800 a day.
Without trying very hard, I eat about 1,200. Which is about right for wanting to lose weight.
So what's the problem?
Yesterday I went up to the mailbox twice.
Got 1 wheelbarrow of dirt for the driveway.
Today, I went up to the top of the hill through the woods. A good walk/hike.
Even my baggy pants are tight. So depressing.
My right shoulder and left knee have been bothering me horribly.
I added some yoga stretches to my day for that.
One, I use a wash cloth to reach behind my back to stretch my shoulder/arms. Eventually, I should not need the washrag as a crutch - my hands should meet.
This morning my left hip was totally whacked. Thus the hike up the hill.
Fuck this not feeling limber and energetic.
However, it just goes to show, don't take care of the body as a temple and it goes to hell. That is not going to happen in my life.
Like Dr. Phil would say, "How's that working out for you?"
Well, I keep hanging in there. I'm still doing this. I started this blog last October? I''ve gotten nowhere?

Food I love that's fattening

I love butter and mayonaisse. I love them together with garlic and herbs. I put them on vegetables. I've thought about giving them up but I love them. I also love ranch dressing. I figure, it makes my salad so delectable, it's worth it. I also love cheese on my salad. fattening.
yesterday I had oil and vinegar on my salad. with the cheese, it was still really delicious.
I've been reading "Yoga Journal." I love that magazine. All the people in it are thin and healthy looking and spiritual. I love their clothes. I do yoga sometimes, but really, it just makes me want to buy those cool yoga chothes.
I too will be thinner and healthier looking one day soon.
I am really really working hard on it.
I am.

The Wheelbarrow Workout

I feel compelled to write something.
I've been a slug but am getting better.
My plan to get a wheelbarrow full of dirt every day to fill in the ruts at the low end of the driveway is sporadic but ongoing.
I have found that it's not much of a workout, so I go up to the mailboxes first for aerobics, then do my wheelbarrow thing.
I think I weigh around 149. Still.
I started this blog in October?
Now that it's springtime, all that winter weight should start falling off.
Time for mountain hikes.
I don't want to be embarrassed by falling against a tree breathless, thus the newly found ambition.
I ran (trudged) up the big hill today.
Good job!!!!!!

Aaah, it's been a while

I've been away so long the page has changed! sheesh.
just to say, I'm still at it. still struggling with the ups and downs. I still lose a pound, gain a pound and give up.

Sooooo, time to break out the big guns, persevere, get with the program - uh - stay with the program. Climb a mountain. Shake a leg. Eat salad.





Onward.

details on the cleanse

I wanted to give some more in depth information to those who may never have done a cleanse of this type.
First, I want to mention that when I fasted, I thought of hamburgers and french fries the whole time. Not with the cleanse. I couldn't even think of what to eat when it was over.
.....for starters, the whole idea of "food in, food out" didn't do a thing for me thinking I don't want to poop for a while... but really, just no cravings other than being completely set with having some good easy veges or fruits. I'm just not real hungry.
...I do have a killer headache today and don't ever remember that side effect in the past.
I had some juice and then some onion, carrot soup with miso and seaweed broth. Today some oatmeal (1/2 serving) and now some soup. Hope that helps my headache but I'm not inclined to take advil seeing how I just cleaned out my liver and don't wan't to put anything bad back in so fast.
...Now, a word about how the cleanse works. The epsom salts act as a super flush, so about an hour after taking the first dose, sometimes longer, the bowels clean out - totally. About every 8 minutes it's a rush to the toilet and then everything just turns to water. By the time you've done the second dose, every 8 minutes or so is tiring. I forget how annoying it is.
...The olive oil and grapefruit juice isn't even yucky because I'm hungry and it's very satiating. You have to drink the stuff and lie still for at least 20 minutes. (The ducts are all open from the epsom salts and the concoction works on moving stones out) In other words, go to sleep! It's amazing that I never have a problem sleeping (after taking L-Ornithene).
I woke up feeling pretty drained this time which I don't recall.. usually I feel kind of energized - being all cleaned out. But I was Pooped! hah. I wasn't seeing a lot of gallstones, so I did a second dose of olive oil and grapefruit juice between the next epsom salt doses. Still not big results until I had the tea, so whatever did the trick, great.
I woke up in the night last night feeling achy - maybe from lying around for 2 days. I don't know. Maybe things working themselves out of my body. Told myself to absolutely, no excuses, do yoga this morning, which I did.
I'm sure the headache is food related somehow.
....One other amazing thing is that my jaw, which quit popping a while back but has continued to be sore (like out of whack) is now almost fine. no soreness whatsoever. So, if there was something stuck in there, maybe this cleanse moved it out.
My son said, "what do you care how your bloodwork come out if it's not how you usually are?
Good question. I'll let you know after I get the results back.

whew

I am finished with the cleansing regime but not feeling peachy yet.
I watched the clock until it had been 2 hours since the last dose of epsom salts.
I have had a headache, back ache and severe lethargy.
I have heard of coffee something or other with  cleansing, but what I was craving was tea.
So I had a cup of tea. It was fabulous.
Prior to the tea, I had been quite disappointed in the number of so-called gallstones I was not seeing in the toilet bowl. After the tea, whoosh. I whole bunch came out. I said to myself, "Listen to your intuition!"
I'm having another cup of tea, black, but not Irish Breakfast. It's after 11 a.m., and I don't do well with caffeine too late in the day. However, being that I feel like somebody injected me with concrete, I also feel I need a boost of the juice...a charge of caffeine.
I'm waiting also for the effects of the epsom salts to be over in order to take a nice long soak in epsom salts. Then maybe a walk with the dog, who has been ever so patient with me. It's highly unusual that I am so larthargic.
I don't recall with past cleanses feeling so parched thirsty either. I tried to drink the tea slowly but will also treat myself to a glass of water too. I have one half hour before I'm really supposed to ingest anything. Oh well.
BTW, I dropped 5 pounds overnight, but we know that is all water and will be back straight away. It still feels good to see the scale at 140, even if it's temporary. (if I magically lost 2 more pounds, I would be over the top excited and energized!)
Keeping in mind that I'm doing this so as to get better bloodwork, I also have in mind to stay on a healthy diet regime for the next week and a half. ( have the whole thyroid issue also and want that bloodwork to look good). I'm definitely going to visit the green smoothie website my friend told me about. Thanks Elizabeth.
I'm also grateful for the great library book my neighbor recommended. I've been parked by the wood heater for a day and a half now with a real mover. Thanks Jim.
I am beginning to feel like I can get back into the swing of this whole pound chasing exercise. 

Time for a cleanse

The Health Fair is coming up...the one where I get bloodwork done for $30. A great deal. It's been a few years since I've gone.
High cholesterol runs in my family. One year I had blood work done and my cholesterol was around 350. The following year, I did the Hulda Clark gallbladder and liver cleanse right before the bloodwork, and my cholesterol was around 250.
I wonder what it will be this year. The Health Fair is in 2 weeks. Today and tomorrow are the only days I have open to do this, so I will behave myself until after I get my blood checked.
Sunday I hiked through the trees up to the top of the hill behind our house. It's not real far but a nice diverse trek over rocks and such.
Yesterday I walked the dog up to the mailboxes and plan to do the same today. She has to stay in the house for most of the day, and the mailbox walk is her favorite, and she has her spots to go poop and pee a lot.
I have a pottery class to attend this morning and will be home in time to begin the cleanse.
It consists of having a fat-free breakfast (oatmeal and fruit) and lunch (potato and brocolli) drinking epsom salts after hours of not eating any more, then olive oil and fresh grapefruit juice, then resting and sleeping well, drink more epsom salts the next day. I've had great success with this cleanse and usually do it about once a year.
My weight is still 145.
Today is the first day of spring. It snowed last night. Typical.

here, I'm here

My weight is still hanging around down around the 145s... still for no apparent reason other than my recent fast..
understanding that 145 is not a good weight and I want to be 10 pounds less than that, but I seem to be holding my own in regards to not gaining...
Bread seems to have some effect but not even that much...
I had a lot of extra work this week and just have not exercised but with the nice weather upon us, I should be getting out there more...

A friend came in and told me about Victoria Boutenko's  greensmoothierevolution.com/. The recipes look great.

We're definitely coming into the available greens season... so I am energized toward feeling better and exercising more.

change and more change

For no reason whatsoever I've lost four fucking pounds! O.K., maybe not no reason - maybe the fast did something. I mean, I've eaten nothing but crap practically ever since. Cupcakes (for my grandson's birthday), pasta, potatoes, yummy fried foods all mixed in with big salads and such.
I had a therapy session. Maybe 3 pounds of weight fell off my shoulders. I don't think so.
I am going to continue on and listen to my instincts. I very consciously didn't eat mindfully through my egg and potato breakfast. All I thought to myself was, "Oh, I'm not chewing everything 100 times, yum, yum, yum; gulp gulp yum."
Nor have I been exercising much. Been kinda working a lot and having a disjointed hip-knee thing, so I've been taking it easy.
Off to work I go with a nice apple snack. Big salad planned for dinner using up some beautiful organic brocolli I got last week at the local health food store. And I need to trim my basil plant, so I'll make some pesto this afternoon. Love it!

everything matters

I still have no great revelation about why I felt I needed to fast - but it changed me. I still don't exactly know how yet either, but I feel a shift. I wish I could have kept it going because I felt things changing - toxins easing their way out - and then stopped.
So I will keep plugging away with all the diet and exercise nonsense, for what good it's done me, and I will continue to battle with the societal impacts - a roll of Girl Scout Thin Mints, french fries, all the food and drink that bombards me constantly. My moments with salad and lots of water only to the demise of grease and fat.

changes

It's amazing all the things I noticed during the fast. After 3 days, my nose didn't drip at all. nothing. no morning mucus and nose blowing regime. One bite of food and it was back.
Peanut butter gave me froggy throat. interesting. miso gave me heartburn. sheesh.
Yoga is wonderful and, gee, maybe I was in that bad of shape! my arms and shoulders were so terribly sore, achy...I did yoga. tried the whole time to talk myself out of doing the whole routine (I have a DVD I follow) because my arms were sore, I felt light headed. well, I plugged through and WOW, did I feel great afterwards!!!! and my arms were better. I think I had just not done enough and they were stuck.
so, yoga it is. at the very least, I walk up the hill to the mailboxes (1 mile). but I think I'll hang with the yoga for a while.
I've probably gained all that weight back by now. sigh. so, what did I learn from the fast? hmmm. that I can't do that and work full time? uh, some foods (and beverages) are unhealthy? well, there's breaking news.
EXERCISE is the key. this has been my philosophy all along. However, I was compelled to do that fast, and I did it. goody for me. whether or not I cleaned some old stuff out remains to be seen.
Springtime in the rockies and it's 5 degrees outside and snowed last night. brrrrr.
Warm cup of tea, here I come.

food glorious food

I totally ate yesterday... just knowing I wasn't ging to continue was all I needed! About noon or 1 I had a pear. Later on I had an apple with peanut butter. Interestingly I got a little phlegmy (from the peanut butter I guess). Will note that.
Then, another cup of miso broth turned into the most delicious hot and sour egg drop soup with onion, garlic and carrot. I ate it all.
I have some odd aches in my arm and shoulder joints and almost a pulsing in my muscles. A new and different feeling that I've never had before. I even took advil. have I been so terribly inactive that even getting a wheel barrow full of wood in the house or hanging up laundry hurt me? I don't think so. Don't know what's up with that. My only guess is that my body is getting rid of something, so today, I will take some bentonite clay with psyllium husk to see if I can get it to move out. And watch what I eat. But I tell ya - I am soooo looking forward to oatmeal!
...and I feel good. Not lethargic. I have no time for lethargic. Way too much to do and today is going to be gloriously productive.
As far as what amazing revelations I had through this, I'm going to reflect on that a little bit more. It was a good thing for me to do. That's for sure. What I got out of it, I don't know yet.
Today's weight - 143.5. Back to the old exercise regime.  haha, there's a new one. eat right and exercise.

Change in Plans

I decided yesterday that there's no way I can continue this fast through my Friday and Saturday workdays and knowing that I'm not going to make it the 11 days kind of blew the whole thing...besides that I hadn't slept and felt awful (I am no good at all with no sleep) I fell asleep ridiculously early, woke up at 3:30 a.m. with enough hours of sleep under my belt but still feeling very light headed and funky. I had gone to sleep thinking about miso broth and woke up with the same thought. (Haven't even come close to NOT obsessing about food) Then I thought, maybe I'm craving salt. So, at 3:30 this morning I had a cup of broth. Went back to sleep. Still feeling funky but that also happens when I know I have a day off and can rest. Which is what I need to do.
Still weigh 141.

Day 4

I made it through yesterday...and it was a challenge. I still have not given up morning and evening tea (with honey) but managed to have only water all day, even through making snacks for grand kids.
I could not get to sleep last night for anything and finally gave in and took some valerian.
I was cold and I cranked up the fireplace and my husband got pissy because it was too hot. bummer.
Weighed in at 141 this morning. Managed to get myself out of the house and to life drawing group but did not do very well.
I will get through today and have two whole days off after this.
Whew.

Day Three

     I woke up feeling very weird. Can't describe it exactly. I had strange dreams and was awake for only about an hour in the night, which, in my life isn't too bad. Don't feel like I got enough sleep though. The dog made me take her out at 6 a.m. I couldn't hang standing out there, so I came in without her and had a small glass of juice. then some green tea with honey. then some black tea with honey and now I'm having another green tea with honey.
     I weigh 143. I just want to get through the day. This is my nemesis day. I've never been able to get past day three, and theoretically after this it starts to level out. I just have to do this. I feel way better now at 8 a.m. after some sweet fluids than at 6 a.m. I'll work on the whole no tea/caffeine thing after today.
     I have to go to work in a few minutes. Phew. I will plug through. Need the money desperately and just don't want to blow off work...it's important to me.
     On my way home I am picking up my 3 year old granddaughter. The rest of the kids will ride the school bus to my house so my daughter can go to a meeting. I don't see a problem with any of that and my low energy level. We can sit on the floor and play with the Winnie the Pooh house or watch a video.
     I will be really glad to get past today, but I want to make it a worthwhile day too. You know, get things out. Keep things going.

Breathing, Stretching and oh yeah, weight loss!

     I usually throw my weight loss somewhere in the middle of this because it's; a) not supposed to be the main reason for the fast and b) I don't want to expect too much.. but oh golly, this morning I am 142.5. well yippee for that. Yesterday was a struggle with just water.. and I really don't think I drank enough because I had such a crazy busy day. Then I weighed myself last night and nothing had changed, but I told myself that the body regenerates while sleeping and that's when changes may occur.
     So through all this, I'm also working on sleep patterns. I told myself how important sleep was to me. That and I've been waking up between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning, and falling asleep around 9 p.m. has been fine. AND sleeping all night. that's the key, the trick, often the problem. I didn't even have my usual skullcap tea and valerian pills. oh, but I did have a cup of mint tea with honey and lemon after my truly exhausting work day.
     Something I've been doing these past 4 days is breathing through my hunger. Not pangs even, but thought. Last night a hamburger and french fries would have been sooo yummy. Theoretically, that's another point of this fasting. Breaking cravings.
     I've also been reading "Moonwalking with Einstein" by Josh Foer. It's about the art of remembering. A mnemonist who Foer is interviewing, then training with took him to Central Park in the freezing cold to learn memorizing tricks and told him the cold air stimulates the brain. I must have just read that when I walked the other morning even though it was only 5 degrees outside and on any other normal day, I would have blown it off.
     This morning my brain feels a little foggy, like a had a fun, gin-filled evening, or smoked a real lot of really good reefer before bed. So, standing outside waiting for the dog to pee this morning, I breathed in plenty of frigid air to stimulate my brain cells into acting properly.
   I planned my fast around days off. The project for today is going to get firewood. I told my husband I didn't know how much help I'd be but would be there just so he wasn't alone in the woods. We'll see. I think it's important to listen to my body through this and rest if and when needed (if possible). I can visualize my cells realigning and regenerating.
     Typing seems to have been o.k., so I guess the brain is working. Onward with day 2 on water. I'm excited.
p.s., I forgot to talk about stretching so will just say how it helps to keep things moving, helps circulation and helps with those kinks and aches that build up and I hope are moving out. Have been doing floor exercises for all that.
    

Water water yum yum

Today I begin the water. Today I weigh 144.5.
Yesterday I walked up the hill, and I've been doing 10 reps on (7 or 8 lb.?) weights for my arms.
I posted my intentions on facebook and got so much negative feedback, now I am bound and determined to do this and have it be successful.
That's about all I can come up with today.
I truly believe I am driven to do this for spiritual reasons - that I have something going on inside that needs to clear out, cleanse, shift gears.
Waiting for the revelation.

an apple a day...

Today I will eat fruit. Tomorrow I will begin my water fast. My daughter said, why?
I explained a little bit yesterday, but there's more. Joint aches. Recurring sinus issues.
Mostly, honestly, weight loss and because I've never been able to do it and have wanted to for years. I do believe that fasting is good for the body, mind, spirit.
Yesterday I ate an apple, a pear, a grapefruit, a banana, a clementine orange and a big glass of pineapple juice. I had coffee with milk in the morning figuring I would pare down my caffeine and switch to green tea at least. Theoretically, I should have no tea, but I'm not sure about that yet. I managed to get by with no cheese or other foodstuff. Generally, while I work I have a dish of nuts or something that I munch on. I'm changing my habits? or just suffering through.
For dinner, my husband had a big fat juicy wonderful smelling bacon cheeseburger. I got through it. I got through the night. I allow myself herb tea at night also and will play that by ear. I don't often sleep well. I'm preparing for a new job and have a little anxiety...but about what I'm not totally sure. Money is a huge issue right now. Why I'm doing this fast right now at such a stressful time is a mystery but I am compelled to do it.
I weigh 145 this morning. Now that's more like it. I could probably even do without the fast and just eat fruits and vegetables for, say, the rest of my life and lose weight. But that's not exactly what this is all about is it?  Theoretically, when fasting, cravings disappear. Also, when one begins eating again, they come right back.
So maybe this whole thing IS about resolve.
I have a busy workday ahead and wonder if I'm feeling weak from changing my body chemistry so drastically or if I'm just inclined to not want to exercise. I'm thinking it's the latter and I really feel pretty normal. I should take the dog for a walk. Go have my busy work day. Like, give me a break. I certainly have plenty of fat stored up...and it's good to keep the bones and muscles moving.
This will be a telltale day.

Why fast

Why is fasting a good thing to do?
Oh, so many reasons... first off.. yesterday, I ate fruit. I practiced mindful eating. paying attention to every bite and chewing - masticating - completely before swallowing. So often I eat without paying any attention at all. whenever possible it's just good practice to eat mindfully. feel the food in your mouth. roll it around. notice everything about it.
Then there's the natural benefit of weight loss. Well, fasting is just a kick start. It's a way to clear things out and start fresh.
This morning I'm 147. Lost 1/2 lb. woo. expected I'd say.
Actually yesterday I ate salad also, mostly because I had some things in the fridge I needed to finish off. So, here's what I ate:
1 apple, 1 pear, some feta cheese just to give myself some protein and salt, 1/2 red bell pepper, about 8 slices of beets, 6 black olives (no justifiable reason for them, just so yummy with salad) and chopped romaine - all with a drizzle of reduced balsamic sauce I had made a while back for a special dish. I chewed everything forever.
I had lemon water and tea and lots of water. not enough I don't think, but then there's the peeing every 20 minutes that gets old.
today, I'm having fruit.
Mr. America was a strong believer in milk... and seeing how I don't drink much milk from years ago when I did a test on milk's affect on my sinuses etc., I have yogurt or feta to have in case I get feeling really puny.
and, you're supposed to have fresh juice, but I'm not doing that either. I have pineapple and a purple blend (cranberry something).
It's amazing how little it takes to stave off hunger when the idea is to eat nothing.
Day 2. Here I go.

Fasting

I've been on a number of three day fasts for about two days... I generally cave on day three.. which apparently is the pivotal day.
I finished reading Mr. America and at the end the author recounted his experiences trying all these fasts...
and, to top things off in the midst of my pound chasing, I modeled nude for my life drawing group. Now, I don't look hideous, but there's about 20 pounds worth of room for improvement.
And.. coincidentally, I'm reading this book about fasting.
Let's document where I am today. I'm right where I was when I started this blog at 147.5. I've tipped the scale over the last few months at 150 and refuse to go beyond that (been there done that). I've gained 10 pounds in the past year (thus this blog). The night before last we had chili dogs, cheese fries and beer for dinner (because that's what Stephanie Plum and Morelli were having in the last Evanovich mystery I was reading...and last night I had leftover chicken and waffles (very soul) from a delicious recipe I found for sweet potato waffles ( http://www.bonappetit.com/ )..and beer. however, I have slept well for 2 nights.
Today is day one leading up to the fast. I will eat fruit for a couple days, then fast on water for 11 days, then come off the fast with a couple more days of fruit.
I have to work in the midst of all this, so will play it by ear with the need for a glass of fruit juice or something to get me through, but, damn, it's about time I took the bull by the horns, or shall we say, get a grip on the love handles.
I walked yesterday. I walked today. Exercise, of course is key along with all this.
I will document my experience.
good luck to me....

cut your portions in half

Not too hard to figure and guaranteed to make a difference. Well, actually, I'll let you know.
I'm now reading a quirky book called "Mr. America" by Mark Adams, the true story of early 1900s health advocate Bernarr Macfadden. O.k., I couldn't resist the cover which comments on salad, sex and the starvation diet.
Talk about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, if this guy made it..well..we'll see...
So, I managed to walk up to the mailboxes (1 mile) and then eat half portions of yogurt and fruit and nuts.
Let's see how long this lasts.
That's always the problem. I cave after a couple days of hunger.
Plus I have the grandkids today. while they automatically provide exercise, they also beg to make cookies and such. So, we'll make energy bars but I saw a recipe for chicken and waffles (sweet potato waffles!) in Bon Appetit magazine. ah, so, here come the portion control.
Good luck with that.
Hanging in there. Still trying. Hope springs eternal.

Just doing it

So, I went up into the trees to gather some wood. Picked up some limbs. Had a sharp pain in my arm. Wanted to just drop my bundle and go back to the couch, but didn't.
Made three little trips and brought down a nice bundle of mostly kindling and small pieces, which is what we mostly use.
took me about an hour.
by the third trip up, I felt pretty good. By the time I finished whacking the pieces into useable sizes, I felt even better.
Mission accomplished and exercise underbelt.
It's just the difficulty of getting going that's tough.
So, I got over it. forced myself. felt good afterward. What is my problem with just doing it?
I dunno. So, I'll just do it again. Try not to think.

Grandchildren = Exercise

Just go play with a 3 and a 5 year old for a day. sledding. for about 2 hours. up and down the hill. what a blast.
They woke up this morning and the first words out of their mouths were, "can we go sledding now?"
After another cup of tea, please, I reply.
Plus my woodsplitting routine. Coming right up.

Lizzie Borden had an ax

...but Jacque Keller had a weighted maul.
I figured if I got 40 whacks in, I would work my way up to more. I split a log using way more than 40 whacks, then 41, then I figured I better quit before I hurt myself...
...which I did. After painting a section of ceiling... just talking on the phone, I moved a wrong way and whacked my back... had to lie on the floor and stretch, sleep with a hot water bottle and take a pile of advil. All better a day later...
...so I'm ready to hit it again. maybe tomorrow. who knows. seems like there's always something to keep me moving. which is a good thing...
I'm looking forward to reporting in with some major arm muscles.. uh, maybe by springtime, which around here is about the Fourth of July...
Meanwhile, I'm still struggling with that old food issue. The one where I eat too much and a piece of bread equals 2 or 3 pounds on the scale.
Ongoing. Struggle. Hanging in there. Yada, yada.

I've been exercising, promise!

I've just not been writing here...
Sledding is a daily activity but today I started something new... newish...
Chopping wood. Not a new activity, but yesterday a little saying went through my head and I thought... oh good, a new therapy activity...
Lizzie Borden had an ax, gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41.
go ahead and read what you want into that. I figured I could take out whatever aggressions and get in shape at the same time. so I split a couple logs today. I started to keep track figuring if I could do 40 and then 41 whacks, that would be good. and do more each day till I got stronger...
I did as much as I dared without pulling something.
Now I'm taking a break before I paint a spot on the ceiling before I put a shelf up under it. This required first putting a little coat of drywall mud on the area.
I might be doing this instead of some other work I need to do, but so be it...
It's my one thing for today. At least it's something.

Snow

The activity of the morning was sledding! yay. That's about the most upbeat I've been in weeks.
I figured I owed it to the dog at least.. to go play in the snow...
So, after I cleared the snow off the solar panels and swept my car off, I went up the hill to the good sledding spot - which I couldn't even see for all the snow. Not that much really, we got about 8 inches or so, but everything was pretty white and covered and still snowing...
and powder...I didn't even have to work hard to make a run. just went swoosh down the hill. so I did it again and went further down the hill. cant' wait to do it again. oh boy.
And then!!! I took my vitamins.
Watch out for me. Exercise and vitamins. Good job Jacque.

A Walk in the Woods

Today the dog bothered me until I took her for a walk. I had just finished thank you notes from my birthday party and one was for our neighbor around the corner - probably 1/4 mile or so - through the woods and up the road...
So, I think there's a book called A Walk in the Woods about a couple guys who decide to walk the Appalachian Trail - no experience necessary. I haven't read it but heard it was good and the guy just decided to start out - totally out of shape and all.
Point being, hopefully, since we all were around one year old or so, walking is fairly natural (barring other circumstances such as debilitations), so I should be able to just go out and walk somewhere, anywhere, for a little while.
Up here in my neck of the woods, it's uphill a lot, so at 9,000 ft., aerobic breathing is a given.
Then there's uneven ground and jumping across the ditch and catching myself and swinging my arm where it hasn't been lately...(ouch)
We're getting the beginnings of a snowstorm. I could so easily have used that as a reason not to walk.
Instead I used it as a reason TO walk. Go. Get out into the beautiful snow.
It's all what you make of it. Make it good.

vegetables for breakfast

Like exercise, if I get vegetables first thing in the morning, it's done and I'm off to a good start...
Today I had spring rolls with dipping sauce. This after I went out and collected some tree limbs to use for kindling. Call it exercise, at least it was something.
I chortled to myself as I walked up the hill - mildly aerobic - that I had investigated getting a heart monitor so as to get the most of my workouts. The monitor measures your max output so that you stay under that level and therfore get more from aerobic exercise. Yeah, well, far from it lately. I just don't know what's going to get me back in action.
For now, I'm going to try to eat sort of right and at least get out for a walk of sorts.

One thing

I suppose it's important to have goals. Today it's "get out of bed and go to work."
I have a killer fever blister...haven't had one in ages, and this one hurts all the way up the side of my face giving me a headache. Two days now.
Exercise is not something I want to do, but work is good for getting out of myself.
I figure if I do one thing good for me, at least it's something. So, I'm going to try to eat well.
I worry about food. I worry that I won't have enough. Sometimes that makes me overeat. I have no idea where that comes from...well, maybe I do. My mother. She always carried a snack. Nuts. An orange. Take note that my mother nibbled very little in an anorexic way but always had food handy. (she most likely still does, I'm just not around her.) (and p.s., she's in her 80s, on no medication and very healthy)
It's a habit. I always have food. Do I have fear of hunger? I certainly eat unecessarily.
So, I'm going to take that with me today. I'm not going to starve. I'm going to eat just enough.
And I have spring rolls with incredible dipping sauce for dinner. Aaahh. Vegetables. Elixer of life.
Hopefully, one good turn will lead to the next. Eat right = exercise = feel better.

Routine

It doesn't matter if it's doing it or writing it, if I skip a day, I skip a week or a month! That goes for writing this blog as well as exercising. It's not just that I don't have anything good to say, it's a matter of routine.
Now that all birthday festivities are behind me... and let me tell you, they are behind me all right... chocolate cake and lobster in vanilla butter with heavy cream all went straight to my behind...I plan on getting back into the routine.
And really, I have been out for a walk here and there. When I'm feeling a bit introverted, I prefer walking up the hill behind the house rather than up the road to the mailbox.
There are 3 rock outcroppings up the hill. I puffed up to the first one 2 days ago. Yesterday I was a slug.
Today I went up to the second outcropping. I didn't feel too bad either.
I think I can get back into my routine.
Keep in mind that if my goal is to hike up to Conundrum hot spring, the second, even the third outcropping is about one tenth the distance to Conundrum. I am far from in shape, but not too far out of shape.
Ever the optimist.
Optimism plus a giant stack of jeans in the back of my closet that don't fit me and 3 pair in my drawer that actually fit me.
Here's to my routine and jeans that fit.

oh diet blog, oh diet blog; wherfore art thou oh diet blog?

It's not quite as bad as I thought. It feels like it's been a month since I've had any good health activity. Days have come and gone everwhelmed with depression or some kind of angst. Rare is any type of aerobic movement.
Took the dog for a walk. and I mean "walk." I spun. spinned. span. (yeah, I got your "span". I'm spanning the wasteband on my pants.) I did it better than the last time. I "spotted" the stovepipe like a ballerina and was less dizzy at the finish. I went 11 time the first time and 10 the second for the total of 21 that is supposed to be enlightening. I'll get back to you on that one.
My diet has been questionable. lots of chocolate and fried foods. You'd think it would all be over but my birthday was yesterday and I'm having a party this coming Sunday, so it's food galore around my house. I blanched chopped and roasted almonds this morning in preparation for one of the amazing cakes I have planned. Got so far as propping the puff pastry recipe up on the counter. I can start that any time and do it in stages. All foods involve massive amounts of white flour, butter and sugar.
I'm having a big salad for lunch.
So hurray for me.
Baby steps. and totally tummy food. Maybe I'll work on portion control for now.

Took my vitamins, forgot to spin

Damn. I ate really great food yesterday and then, in bed, watching a movie had a big fat sourdough hard roll with big fat butter. I weighed more this morning. 
Was also in a bad mood (due to the aforementioned spousal problems) and blew off sledding. Then I forgot to spin.
Today is just going to go down the tubes in my book. I am bummed out with myself.
Tomorrow will be better.

Out the Door I Went and then I tried Spinning

If I can just concentrate on this one thing, maybe I can experience success. Put my boots on and get out the door!
I thought, "Oh hell, I'll go up the little hill and make a sledding run."
So I trudged, and I mean TRUDGED!, up the little hill. This is the alternative sledding hill that is on the north side in the trees, so the snow is still there. The daytime temps have been warm, so things are slick. It took me forever to break through the drifts, and I couldn't believe how out of breath I was. Geez.
It was slick, sure enough, but this hill is not too steep so it wasn't too scary. But fun enough. So, I went again. And then again for the 3 requisite runs to call it exercise. And, sure enough, it was fun.
I then tried something new...Spinning. Not cycling. just what it says. spin around in a circle. become dizzy.
A friend I saw at the grocery store yesterday told me about it. You spin 21 times. First, go 5 times. Stop until the world stops going around. Then do it again. Do it like that (practice) until you can go the whole 21 times. Find a focus (like ballerinas). Go in a clockwise direction. This is a meditation practice like whirling dervishes. It is said the lamas do it 21 times just enough to stimulate the vortexes into action. Negative residues are flung out of the body and the bridge is strengthened between the left and right hemispheres. Spinning stimulates the body's energy system and wakes up the chakras.
So, get out the door and spin. Spinning into the new year. Hopefully not spinning out of control. Hopefully, just the opposite. Spinning grounds you. I be grounded. I will hit the ground running and then spin to become more grounded. Run and spin. Sled and spin. Eat right and spin.
And I took my vitamins today - to clarify, my supplements, which includes the 5HTP that keeps me level (happy?). B Vitamins help my nerves. Oils help my brain balance.
I guess balance is the key.
So here's to spinning to stay balanced. One thing leads to another. All things lead to good health.

The NEW Year/ The NEW Plan

Here we go.
Okay, my horoscope says, don't rush into things or expect things all at once.
So, I'm paraphrasing, but this means, stick with my goals. Keep after it. and, gee, how hard is it to get your ass out the fucking door and move?
I mean, sure. Once I get started, it's o.k. Getting out the door is the big problem.
I had a beautiful chat with a friend the other day. It became obvious that whatever I'm doing (NOT doing) isn't working for me.
so, change.
I didn't do anything for the last.. uh... 3 days? I can't even remember. My husband, who is feeling better by the way (gee, holidays behind us?), pointed out to me that my sledding hill in the woods is packed and looking pretty icy. sounds like fun (or death).
I have to do it tomorrow morning or it will be melted as the temps are getting up in the 50s.
and then.. with the warm weather we're having, I truly have no excuse for not getting out there. oh, well, right after I... a) start taking my vitamins again (fight, fight, fight iron poor blood!!) and b) quit eating sugar for pretty much breakfast lunch and dinner (mostly in the form of chocolate and beer and wine and gin).
So, I'm going to picture the door.. and me going through it. Just, go OUT the door. Through that door is change. Go THROUGH  the door.
Meanwhile, I'm going to sign up for a weight loss contest I saw in a healthy magazine. Anything for motivation....
...and a local trainer here in little burg said, "yes," a heart monitor really is important for a good workout program so as to get the most of my workout.
I'm thinkin' I'll get the most out of my workout when I actually DO my workout. Remember back a couple month ago before my kitchen was full of fudge?... I think I ran 6 days in a row once.
Get out the door. Remember Alice. Through the looking glass. Chase the rabbit. Chasing better health. Chasing those pounds!