I promise I'll start exercising TOMORROW

The holidays have taken their toll both physically and emotionally. I live with one of the world's worse holiday haters. Depression set in early. How do I get myself out of bed for a run or even a few stretches when I went to bed crying and wake up after a fitful night of poor sleep?
I don't know. I just don't.
There's a program in Colorado called "Weigh and Win." I don't know whose brainchild this is. But they pay you for lost weight and for keeping it off. You register and the rest I'm sketchy on. There are kiosks around that you visit for official weigh ins. The closest one to me is at least 2 hours away, and seeing that I can't even get out of bed to do a sit-up, I just don't have the enthusiasm to join a program that pays - here's the good part - $15 for a 5% weight loss. (More money for more weight loss)
So, if I weigh 150 right now and lose my 20 pounds (yeah right), there's my 5%. For $15 big ones..no wait, that's $15 little ones. For big ones, I'd jump right in my car and do it. But for that? Hahaha.
It got me thinking how much money would inspire me to get moving? I don't have an answer yet.
Where's the spark that will move me? The New Year approaches. Life trudges on.
So, while I ponder all that, I'll have another cup of tea and see what mood the manic depressive is in.
Maybe just getting myself out the door to work is good enough for now. Just trying to stay afloat financially is my exercise for the day. I'll be grateful for my jobs and my beautiful house... well, it's the location more than the actual house. Still working on the beautiful house part. Which is why I have 2 jobs. An exercise in perseverance.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, you're only a day away...

What was I thinking?

Start a diet and exercise blog right at the beginning of the chocolate and holiday season. Gain weight. Get more depressed.
did I mention the weight gain? ugh.
and the depression. sigh. my spouse is worse than usual this season which makes it difficult for me to stay on track.
I took one sledding run this morning.
ate salad yesterday.
That's the best I can do for today.

yes, sledding

Yesterday's venture was to make the sledding path. I tried a new spot that I discovered to the south with a north facing hill so the snow stays there longer. It's not as steep as the other hill and about the same distance away. The trek up the not very steep hill was good. Then I made the 3 requisite trips down. The first one is more scooching to make the path. The second one was a bit of a slide and I wondered if my other hill was better because it's steeper. The third run didn't take me any further, didn't gain any speed.
But this morning, it should be good and frozen and I should have some good fast fun.
As far as aerobics go, I got some good breathing but didn't really break a sweat.
And had hot dogs and french fries for dinner. How's that for diet food?

sledding

Soooo, it's snowing. tomorrow morning calls for sledding. I can't wait.
The amazing thing is, if I dont exercise, I don't have as much energy.
The problem is, I don't have the energy to go out and exercise.
And I have so much to do!!!
I am committed to getting out of this Christmas fudge eating rut and getting out into the land of breathing hard. Oh boy.
Tonight it's minestroni that I made yesterday... and maybe work on my xmas cards. not very aerobic.

a trek in the woods

When all else fails, go for a walk in the woods. And lately, all else is failing. But at least I did something.
I start out uphill at least so my heart gets going. was all set to go up the road, up the killer hill but remembered that I saw lights through the trees when I got home after dark (which isn't saying much these days) and wondered where the heck light would be coming from.
So, I started out in that direction and before long, always surprises me, I saw what I guess is our nearest neighbor's house just over one ridge. Coulda been that or coulda been the moon coming up. I won't be home till even later tonight, so no telling.
What I did see were coyote tracks along a deer trail and fresh antler rubs in the aspen grove and the neighbors across the street out for their morning stroll through their woods.
Ten degrees out, I didn't linger.
long day ahead so a big breakfast and some fruit later, then extra work after my library gig. Working extra for a girl who's off for the holidays. Maybe more money will magically give me inspiration to lose weight. eat right. exercise more.
It's a nice thought. Off and running in one sense or another.

Soup

The soup really save me. It's filling and has vegetables in it.
I get the noodles from the Asian market. Rice or mung bean. The bean noodles get thick. I use miso for soup base. Onion, garlic and whatever veges are on hand. If you have time, saute the onions, otherwise, just chop things up, throw them in with the miso and water and cook until tender. I also add seaweed for flavor and nutrition. It smells bad while cooking but tastes good. You can add curry and fish sauce too. coconut milk is always good with curry. I also added some hot pepper for warmth. That's my staple food I make after I've been bad. That is what I ate yesterday after I had lox and bagels with a giant chocolatey coffee.
The only thing I know is going to happen today is I'm not running and I'm having a giant breakfast as I have interviews all day and don't know when I'll get them written.
I hate stress. I didn't sleep well thinking about it all, so the hell with everything. I'm going to have coffee and bacon and eggs and go to work.

sticking with the program

When I don't write one day, it is often because I'm either too busy ot didn't do any damn thing healthy.
Yesterday is a fine example. Sure, I walked the dog around the yard. Very little aerobics involved. And I didn't eat until it was too late. I had an avacado, sprouts, tomatoes, black olives, peppers and fresh basil. Nice try. But it was too late. I was still hungry.
So I had popcorn. Then a piece of pumpkin pie. Then some cashews, then a cookie.
Today, my library staff meeting is at a coffee shop and the taxpayers are buying. I'm pretty sure I'll have some egg and cheese and croissant combination with the most giant coffee chai combination.
So, here's the conundrum... and I've done this many time before, so I know it will happen. If I have a nice big fat salad this afternoon, my insides will surely start to grumble. I work in a small office at the paper and the bathroom is pretty centrally located, and I am uncomfortable with spending a lot of unpersonal time in there. I have been known to leave work and go to my daughter's house to use the bathroom in private.
But, being Monday, I want to get back on the healthy eating program and must ease into it. I don't know if there's anybody else out there (I can't be the only one!!!) who does this. Eat crap all weekend, then get back on track for the week. It should be the other way around, but with one day off a week, I like to really blow it one whole day. And where does that get me?
Here. right here. same weight. same big fat slug.
I have no big solution today. I did yoga. A new routine. and I did the whole thing. no cheating. Then I took the dog around the yard.
Now, after this lovely conversation with  myself, I am going to ease into something healthy for lunch and make a nice soup with carrots and mung bean noodles.
Thanks for listening.

Sugar Blues

I have afflictions that worsen when my sugar intake increases. Nothing drastic. Just fungus. A case of athletes foot (to be specific, athletes little toe) gets worse when I've been eating more sugar. Isn't that nice that my body sends me signals to let me know I need to make an adjustment.
To highlight the evils of refined sugar, it goes into the body, travels around and comes out as fat... out as in, out into my hips thighs and butt. then my fungus eats it up. happy happy fungus. Even too much high sugar fruit can go the bad route.
Rough time of year to try eating spinach instead of cookies. And the sugar in cookies is usually attached to some sort of fat (as in butter) and white refined flour (which turns to sugar and then - FAT).
don't forget the booze. alcohol = sugar.
I'm not making any promises but it's my message for the day to watch out for the evils of sugar and try try try to give it a rest... and try try try to exercise 6 days a week.
Exercise makes me feel better. Coming down from sugar is bad.
Holiday depression. ugh.
Get out and feel the sunshine!

cellulite

I caught a glimpse of my rear end in the mirror the other day. won't go into gorrey details but while I ran this morning, I pictured all those lumps and bumps just melting away.
The good news is that I managed to get out the door at least and move my self down the road.
trying, trying trying to do at least something those six six six days a week!!!

in the thick of my expanding waistline

Gaining one pound after another, this is the most I have almost ever weighed! Depressing doesn't even begin to describe it. Exasperating more like. Since I started this blog with the intention of documenting my weight loss and exercise regime, the whole idea has backfired.
Yet, I continue to document. One cookie yesterday led to another (they are everwhere). Has pie for dessert after a nutritious chinese noodle soup.
I took the dog for a walk. Depressed and slow. through the snow.
I have my smoothie and carrot apple salad packed for work.
Here is my fat ass out the door searching for happiness and motivation.

Put the Cookie Down!

Not just dark out but in the minus degrees, so I did manage to perform a few down dogs and an upward facing dog, or a cobra or something and a sloppy triangle pose from a new routine I found in Yoga Journal magazine. It's titled something like "Clear and Conscientious."  Supposed to help, uh, keep my mind straight or whatever... well, I suppose, first I have to do it more than once and then at least really try to do it well.
I don't even want to talk about how much I weigh because it keeps going up and up. And to top things off, I get to my first interview this morning and the guy goes and buys me a chocolate chip cookie with my coffee. and I had just, moments before, sworn off cookies!!
Big sigh to go with my big butt.

the dark days

It's 6:45 a.m. and just beginning to get light. These are the days of yoga. plus it's cold. sorry, but I'm not going out for a run.
I told a friend about my blog yesterday. And how I haven't exactly lost any weight. She said, "Oh, well, if you're writing the blog, that's all you have to do. You don't have to do any of the stuff you're talking about!"
So, great.. the pressure's off. Just the thought of losing weight and getting fit should do the trick.
The thought for the day is to just "hold that thought!"

lack of time and energy

I ran one day. Then I didn't. Then my sister (thanks) sent me an article how running kills. It was about marathoners and those 2 recent guys who keeled over at the end of their race.
...no threat with me as I don't manage to get much further than a mile - although I do get some good huffing and puffing going, I don't think it's life threatening.
Then my sister (thank you) sent me an article about how keeping track of all this diet and exercise business can drive you crazy and even back fire. That part seems to be true. I have gained weight since I've started this. What's up with that?
We're not even into the thick of the holidays and the last two mornings I have started my day with a delicious and (not) nutritious breakfast of chocolate cookies and cheesecake. Of course, my weight is in the dumper anyway, so what can it hurt? Might as well get happy with chocolate!!!!

run and lift

Yesterday I ran a mile and was glad enough about just doing that after the big Thanksgiving slump. I ate right.
Today I unloaded the trailer full of wood.
It's my usual day off slump where I know I don't really have to do a lot, so I don't.
I also have the 3 year old to keep me entertained, but she's pretty happy lying on the couch watching "Spirit" or "Scamper" for the gazillionth time.
It's a grey snowy day, so couch it is.