Change in Plans

I decided yesterday that there's no way I can continue this fast through my Friday and Saturday workdays and knowing that I'm not going to make it the 11 days kind of blew the whole thing...besides that I hadn't slept and felt awful (I am no good at all with no sleep) I fell asleep ridiculously early, woke up at 3:30 a.m. with enough hours of sleep under my belt but still feeling very light headed and funky. I had gone to sleep thinking about miso broth and woke up with the same thought. (Haven't even come close to NOT obsessing about food) Then I thought, maybe I'm craving salt. So, at 3:30 this morning I had a cup of broth. Went back to sleep. Still feeling funky but that also happens when I know I have a day off and can rest. Which is what I need to do.
Still weigh 141.

Day 4

I made it through yesterday...and it was a challenge. I still have not given up morning and evening tea (with honey) but managed to have only water all day, even through making snacks for grand kids.
I could not get to sleep last night for anything and finally gave in and took some valerian.
I was cold and I cranked up the fireplace and my husband got pissy because it was too hot. bummer.
Weighed in at 141 this morning. Managed to get myself out of the house and to life drawing group but did not do very well.
I will get through today and have two whole days off after this.
Whew.

Day Three

     I woke up feeling very weird. Can't describe it exactly. I had strange dreams and was awake for only about an hour in the night, which, in my life isn't too bad. Don't feel like I got enough sleep though. The dog made me take her out at 6 a.m. I couldn't hang standing out there, so I came in without her and had a small glass of juice. then some green tea with honey. then some black tea with honey and now I'm having another green tea with honey.
     I weigh 143. I just want to get through the day. This is my nemesis day. I've never been able to get past day three, and theoretically after this it starts to level out. I just have to do this. I feel way better now at 8 a.m. after some sweet fluids than at 6 a.m. I'll work on the whole no tea/caffeine thing after today.
     I have to go to work in a few minutes. Phew. I will plug through. Need the money desperately and just don't want to blow off work...it's important to me.
     On my way home I am picking up my 3 year old granddaughter. The rest of the kids will ride the school bus to my house so my daughter can go to a meeting. I don't see a problem with any of that and my low energy level. We can sit on the floor and play with the Winnie the Pooh house or watch a video.
     I will be really glad to get past today, but I want to make it a worthwhile day too. You know, get things out. Keep things going.

Breathing, Stretching and oh yeah, weight loss!

     I usually throw my weight loss somewhere in the middle of this because it's; a) not supposed to be the main reason for the fast and b) I don't want to expect too much.. but oh golly, this morning I am 142.5. well yippee for that. Yesterday was a struggle with just water.. and I really don't think I drank enough because I had such a crazy busy day. Then I weighed myself last night and nothing had changed, but I told myself that the body regenerates while sleeping and that's when changes may occur.
     So through all this, I'm also working on sleep patterns. I told myself how important sleep was to me. That and I've been waking up between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning, and falling asleep around 9 p.m. has been fine. AND sleeping all night. that's the key, the trick, often the problem. I didn't even have my usual skullcap tea and valerian pills. oh, but I did have a cup of mint tea with honey and lemon after my truly exhausting work day.
     Something I've been doing these past 4 days is breathing through my hunger. Not pangs even, but thought. Last night a hamburger and french fries would have been sooo yummy. Theoretically, that's another point of this fasting. Breaking cravings.
     I've also been reading "Moonwalking with Einstein" by Josh Foer. It's about the art of remembering. A mnemonist who Foer is interviewing, then training with took him to Central Park in the freezing cold to learn memorizing tricks and told him the cold air stimulates the brain. I must have just read that when I walked the other morning even though it was only 5 degrees outside and on any other normal day, I would have blown it off.
     This morning my brain feels a little foggy, like a had a fun, gin-filled evening, or smoked a real lot of really good reefer before bed. So, standing outside waiting for the dog to pee this morning, I breathed in plenty of frigid air to stimulate my brain cells into acting properly.
   I planned my fast around days off. The project for today is going to get firewood. I told my husband I didn't know how much help I'd be but would be there just so he wasn't alone in the woods. We'll see. I think it's important to listen to my body through this and rest if and when needed (if possible). I can visualize my cells realigning and regenerating.
     Typing seems to have been o.k., so I guess the brain is working. Onward with day 2 on water. I'm excited.
p.s., I forgot to talk about stretching so will just say how it helps to keep things moving, helps circulation and helps with those kinks and aches that build up and I hope are moving out. Have been doing floor exercises for all that.
    

Water water yum yum

Today I begin the water. Today I weigh 144.5.
Yesterday I walked up the hill, and I've been doing 10 reps on (7 or 8 lb.?) weights for my arms.
I posted my intentions on facebook and got so much negative feedback, now I am bound and determined to do this and have it be successful.
That's about all I can come up with today.
I truly believe I am driven to do this for spiritual reasons - that I have something going on inside that needs to clear out, cleanse, shift gears.
Waiting for the revelation.

an apple a day...

Today I will eat fruit. Tomorrow I will begin my water fast. My daughter said, why?
I explained a little bit yesterday, but there's more. Joint aches. Recurring sinus issues.
Mostly, honestly, weight loss and because I've never been able to do it and have wanted to for years. I do believe that fasting is good for the body, mind, spirit.
Yesterday I ate an apple, a pear, a grapefruit, a banana, a clementine orange and a big glass of pineapple juice. I had coffee with milk in the morning figuring I would pare down my caffeine and switch to green tea at least. Theoretically, I should have no tea, but I'm not sure about that yet. I managed to get by with no cheese or other foodstuff. Generally, while I work I have a dish of nuts or something that I munch on. I'm changing my habits? or just suffering through.
For dinner, my husband had a big fat juicy wonderful smelling bacon cheeseburger. I got through it. I got through the night. I allow myself herb tea at night also and will play that by ear. I don't often sleep well. I'm preparing for a new job and have a little anxiety...but about what I'm not totally sure. Money is a huge issue right now. Why I'm doing this fast right now at such a stressful time is a mystery but I am compelled to do it.
I weigh 145 this morning. Now that's more like it. I could probably even do without the fast and just eat fruits and vegetables for, say, the rest of my life and lose weight. But that's not exactly what this is all about is it?  Theoretically, when fasting, cravings disappear. Also, when one begins eating again, they come right back.
So maybe this whole thing IS about resolve.
I have a busy workday ahead and wonder if I'm feeling weak from changing my body chemistry so drastically or if I'm just inclined to not want to exercise. I'm thinking it's the latter and I really feel pretty normal. I should take the dog for a walk. Go have my busy work day. Like, give me a break. I certainly have plenty of fat stored up...and it's good to keep the bones and muscles moving.
This will be a telltale day.

Why fast

Why is fasting a good thing to do?
Oh, so many reasons... first off.. yesterday, I ate fruit. I practiced mindful eating. paying attention to every bite and chewing - masticating - completely before swallowing. So often I eat without paying any attention at all. whenever possible it's just good practice to eat mindfully. feel the food in your mouth. roll it around. notice everything about it.
Then there's the natural benefit of weight loss. Well, fasting is just a kick start. It's a way to clear things out and start fresh.
This morning I'm 147. Lost 1/2 lb. woo. expected I'd say.
Actually yesterday I ate salad also, mostly because I had some things in the fridge I needed to finish off. So, here's what I ate:
1 apple, 1 pear, some feta cheese just to give myself some protein and salt, 1/2 red bell pepper, about 8 slices of beets, 6 black olives (no justifiable reason for them, just so yummy with salad) and chopped romaine - all with a drizzle of reduced balsamic sauce I had made a while back for a special dish. I chewed everything forever.
I had lemon water and tea and lots of water. not enough I don't think, but then there's the peeing every 20 minutes that gets old.
today, I'm having fruit.
Mr. America was a strong believer in milk... and seeing how I don't drink much milk from years ago when I did a test on milk's affect on my sinuses etc., I have yogurt or feta to have in case I get feeling really puny.
and, you're supposed to have fresh juice, but I'm not doing that either. I have pineapple and a purple blend (cranberry something).
It's amazing how little it takes to stave off hunger when the idea is to eat nothing.
Day 2. Here I go.

Fasting

I've been on a number of three day fasts for about two days... I generally cave on day three.. which apparently is the pivotal day.
I finished reading Mr. America and at the end the author recounted his experiences trying all these fasts...
and, to top things off in the midst of my pound chasing, I modeled nude for my life drawing group. Now, I don't look hideous, but there's about 20 pounds worth of room for improvement.
And.. coincidentally, I'm reading this book about fasting.
Let's document where I am today. I'm right where I was when I started this blog at 147.5. I've tipped the scale over the last few months at 150 and refuse to go beyond that (been there done that). I've gained 10 pounds in the past year (thus this blog). The night before last we had chili dogs, cheese fries and beer for dinner (because that's what Stephanie Plum and Morelli were having in the last Evanovich mystery I was reading...and last night I had leftover chicken and waffles (very soul) from a delicious recipe I found for sweet potato waffles ( http://www.bonappetit.com/ )..and beer. however, I have slept well for 2 nights.
Today is day one leading up to the fast. I will eat fruit for a couple days, then fast on water for 11 days, then come off the fast with a couple more days of fruit.
I have to work in the midst of all this, so will play it by ear with the need for a glass of fruit juice or something to get me through, but, damn, it's about time I took the bull by the horns, or shall we say, get a grip on the love handles.
I walked yesterday. I walked today. Exercise, of course is key along with all this.
I will document my experience.
good luck to me....

cut your portions in half

Not too hard to figure and guaranteed to make a difference. Well, actually, I'll let you know.
I'm now reading a quirky book called "Mr. America" by Mark Adams, the true story of early 1900s health advocate Bernarr Macfadden. O.k., I couldn't resist the cover which comments on salad, sex and the starvation diet.
Talk about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, if this guy made it..well..we'll see...
So, I managed to walk up to the mailboxes (1 mile) and then eat half portions of yogurt and fruit and nuts.
Let's see how long this lasts.
That's always the problem. I cave after a couple days of hunger.
Plus I have the grandkids today. while they automatically provide exercise, they also beg to make cookies and such. So, we'll make energy bars but I saw a recipe for chicken and waffles (sweet potato waffles!) in Bon Appetit magazine. ah, so, here come the portion control.
Good luck with that.
Hanging in there. Still trying. Hope springs eternal.

Just doing it

So, I went up into the trees to gather some wood. Picked up some limbs. Had a sharp pain in my arm. Wanted to just drop my bundle and go back to the couch, but didn't.
Made three little trips and brought down a nice bundle of mostly kindling and small pieces, which is what we mostly use.
took me about an hour.
by the third trip up, I felt pretty good. By the time I finished whacking the pieces into useable sizes, I felt even better.
Mission accomplished and exercise underbelt.
It's just the difficulty of getting going that's tough.
So, I got over it. forced myself. felt good afterward. What is my problem with just doing it?
I dunno. So, I'll just do it again. Try not to think.

Grandchildren = Exercise

Just go play with a 3 and a 5 year old for a day. sledding. for about 2 hours. up and down the hill. what a blast.
They woke up this morning and the first words out of their mouths were, "can we go sledding now?"
After another cup of tea, please, I reply.
Plus my woodsplitting routine. Coming right up.

Lizzie Borden had an ax

...but Jacque Keller had a weighted maul.
I figured if I got 40 whacks in, I would work my way up to more. I split a log using way more than 40 whacks, then 41, then I figured I better quit before I hurt myself...
...which I did. After painting a section of ceiling... just talking on the phone, I moved a wrong way and whacked my back... had to lie on the floor and stretch, sleep with a hot water bottle and take a pile of advil. All better a day later...
...so I'm ready to hit it again. maybe tomorrow. who knows. seems like there's always something to keep me moving. which is a good thing...
I'm looking forward to reporting in with some major arm muscles.. uh, maybe by springtime, which around here is about the Fourth of July...
Meanwhile, I'm still struggling with that old food issue. The one where I eat too much and a piece of bread equals 2 or 3 pounds on the scale.
Ongoing. Struggle. Hanging in there. Yada, yada.

I've been exercising, promise!

I've just not been writing here...
Sledding is a daily activity but today I started something new... newish...
Chopping wood. Not a new activity, but yesterday a little saying went through my head and I thought... oh good, a new therapy activity...
Lizzie Borden had an ax, gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41.
go ahead and read what you want into that. I figured I could take out whatever aggressions and get in shape at the same time. so I split a couple logs today. I started to keep track figuring if I could do 40 and then 41 whacks, that would be good. and do more each day till I got stronger...
I did as much as I dared without pulling something.
Now I'm taking a break before I paint a spot on the ceiling before I put a shelf up under it. This required first putting a little coat of drywall mud on the area.
I might be doing this instead of some other work I need to do, but so be it...
It's my one thing for today. At least it's something.

Snow

The activity of the morning was sledding! yay. That's about the most upbeat I've been in weeks.
I figured I owed it to the dog at least.. to go play in the snow...
So, after I cleared the snow off the solar panels and swept my car off, I went up the hill to the good sledding spot - which I couldn't even see for all the snow. Not that much really, we got about 8 inches or so, but everything was pretty white and covered and still snowing...
and powder...I didn't even have to work hard to make a run. just went swoosh down the hill. so I did it again and went further down the hill. cant' wait to do it again. oh boy.
And then!!! I took my vitamins.
Watch out for me. Exercise and vitamins. Good job Jacque.

A Walk in the Woods

Today the dog bothered me until I took her for a walk. I had just finished thank you notes from my birthday party and one was for our neighbor around the corner - probably 1/4 mile or so - through the woods and up the road...
So, I think there's a book called A Walk in the Woods about a couple guys who decide to walk the Appalachian Trail - no experience necessary. I haven't read it but heard it was good and the guy just decided to start out - totally out of shape and all.
Point being, hopefully, since we all were around one year old or so, walking is fairly natural (barring other circumstances such as debilitations), so I should be able to just go out and walk somewhere, anywhere, for a little while.
Up here in my neck of the woods, it's uphill a lot, so at 9,000 ft., aerobic breathing is a given.
Then there's uneven ground and jumping across the ditch and catching myself and swinging my arm where it hasn't been lately...(ouch)
We're getting the beginnings of a snowstorm. I could so easily have used that as a reason not to walk.
Instead I used it as a reason TO walk. Go. Get out into the beautiful snow.
It's all what you make of it. Make it good.